Salacious is defined as “having or conveying undue or inappropriate interest in sexual matters.” It’s a better word than the crude “porn.”
I recently, most likely by mistake, got an old letter from my dad to my mom that was… salacious or, dare I say, pornographic.
Yes, I said porn-like. It was definitely a disturbing letter. Let me back up and explain.
I’ve written in blogs here that I’m estranged from my entire immediate biological family. That includes my parents, sisters and brothers-in-laws and, unfortunately, their children. For example, they put my dad in memory care, none of them had the common courtesy or decency to let me know. I found out by accident a week after I got married and at an event for an aunt. He had been in memory care for over a year when I found out.
Back to the letter. My mom, in an effort to clean some items from her house, gave me three big trash bags of stuff. Most of it was absolute junk and crap that went right back to her.
The letter started out nice. My dad had gone to visit his dad and he talked about the visit and who was there. That was day one of the letter. On closer scrutiny, the rest of the letter was an obscene, pornographically-laced letter. The rest of the six or so page letter was details of my parents’ sex life that no child at any age should ever find out or know.
My dad even used quotations around certain words. Two of such words were “au naturel” and “69.” That’s all I’ll say about the other details which were much worse. Additionally, look at the return address of this letter. It has my dad’s name with an “HH.” That means, “horny honey.” Ick.
What mother would include this letter in a bunch of other stuff and not realize it? I took screenshots of the content and sent it to my mom (and key others).
My mom hasn’t asked for the letter back. How could she when she ignores me at every opportunity.
Unhinged? Yes, that’s my mom. Unfortunately now, my dad is in memory care. He probably doesn’t even remember what was in that letter or what he used to do with my mom.
I know this is too much information, but this letter has left scars on my mind and mental health. That’s actually why I don’t talk to or have relationships with my parents and sisters and brothers-in-law. They are toxic people who try to control others and tell them how to live their lives. They’ve done that with me repeatedly, incuding trying to tell me who to love.
That’s why it’s my boundary not to have relationships with any of my biological family. It’s what’s best for me, my mental health and peace and I know it.
