“In school you are taught a lesson and then given a test. In life, you are given a test that teaches you a lesson.” Malcolm X
This is a great quote. It reminds us that we’re meant to find the lesson in life’s ups and downs. How you take these lessons and make your life fuller and richer is up to you.
Losing something or someone important in your life is painful and difficult. Just when you think you may be healing, a memory or another trigger sends you back a few steps and you feel like you’ll never be happy again. This is normal. It’s like taking four steps forward and five steps back to take three forward, and so on throughout your journey.
This is part of life, especially after loss. What I did during the months after my breakup was to journal constantly about what I was feeing and write positive and affirming quotes so I could read it when I got sad or lonely or felt unworthy. Here are some guidelines I continue to keep in mind so I stay on track with my healing.
- Take the time to heal. It’s a process – and the time depends on many variables.
- Be easy on your self. Pain and loss is difficult and there is no one way to feel.
- Appreciate the now. Don’t live in the past or the future. You’ll miss today.
- Be grateful for what you have. Even with loss, there is always something to be thankful for.
- Tell those you love how you feel. Don’t wait. Life is too short.
- Focus on you. Love you. Take care of you.
In essence, these tips are about taking care of your emotional and mental health. You can’t control what other people will say or do or what they think – which makes controlling what you can more vital. I read something recently: truth bomb: “It would be nice to control, but it’s not necessary.” What great advice.
What other tips and guidance would you give yourself, looking back at how you experienced your pain and loss? Hindsight is 20/20, but by journaling on what you’ve learned and how you can take those lessons and move forward in your life and next relationships how you can transform your pain into positivity, happiness, peace and joy.
