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Salacious is defined as “having or conveying undue or inappropriate interest in sexual matters.” It’s a better word than the crude “porn.”

I recently, most likely by mistake, got an old letter from my dad to my mom that was… salacious or, dare I say, pornographic.

Yes, I said porn-like. It was definitely a disturbing letter. Let me back up and explain.

I’ve written in blogs here that I’m estranged from my entire immediate biological family. That includes my parents, sisters and brothers-in-laws and, unfortunately, their children. For example, they put my dad in memory care, none of them had the common courtesy or decency to let me know. I found out by accident a week after I got married and at an event for an aunt. He had been in memory care for over a year when I found out.

Back to the letter. My mom, in an effort to clean some items from her house, gave me three big trash bags of stuff. Most of it was absolute junk and crap that went right back to her.

However, I did keep some of my childhood dolls and what I thought was a love letter from my dad to my mom from more than 30 years ago. It was sent in the timeframe when my dad was in Minnesota, staying with my grandparents, looking for a lot to build a home here. My mom was still in Maryland where we lived at the time.

The letter started out nice. My dad had gone to visit his dad and he talked about the visit and who was there. That was day one of the letter. On closer scrutiny, the rest of the letter was an obscene, pornographically-laced letter. The rest of the six or so page letter was details of my parents’ sex life that no child at any age should ever find out or know.

My dad even used quotations around certain words. Two of such words were “au naturel” and “69.” That’s all I’ll say about the other details which were much worse. Additionally, look at the return address of this letter. It has my dad’s name with an “HH.” That means, “horny honey.” Ick.

What mother would include this letter in a bunch of other stuff and not realize it? I took screenshots of the content and sent it to my mom (and key others).

My mom hasn’t asked for the letter back. How could she when she ignores me at every opportunity.

Unhinged? Yes, that’s my mom. Unfortunately now, my dad is in memory care. He probably doesn’t even remember what was in that letter or what he used to do with my mom.

I know this is too much information, but this letter has left scars on my mind and  mental health. That’s actually why I don’t talk to or have relationships with my parents and sisters and brothers-in-law. They are toxic people who try to control others and tell them how to live their lives. They’ve done that with me repeatedly, incuding trying to tell me who to love.

That’s why it’s my boundary not to have relationships with any of my biological family. It’s what’s best for me, my mental health and peace and I know it.

I can hardly believe September starts today! As my birthday month, I am  so  grateful for another year of health and love.

Labor day is also today. The day recognizes the contributions of American workers to the country’s strength, prosperity and wellbeing. The holiday historically advocated for better working conditions, reasonable hours and fair wages.

September first is also the beginning of astrological fall. It marks the transition from summer to autumn, bringing with it a change in the weather, the landscape and routines as we return to school and work.

There are lots happening in September for me, at least. Rob and I will travel to our alma mater for a wedding. My college roommate’s son is getting married.

Hopefully we can spend time in the month up north, especially as the weather cools. While we try to walk daily, I’m hoping for some time hiking.

Also, my car is in the shop to fix damage from a hit in a parking ramp. I’m driving a rental in the mean time. I’m anxious to have my car back in a few days.

Additionally, I’m going to go dry, at least until the wedding weekend. I’m going to experiment over the next months with sobriety with a view to going full-out in 2026.

This is just a snapshot of the month and my September as of today. This month is usually a transition month between summer and fall.

Here’s to the 30 days of September!

This weekend we drove to Indiana to celebrate the first birthday of our goddaughter Claire on Aug. 24. It was a fun and fanciful event with decor, flowers, photos and more.

The food and drink was likewise wonderful. At one point, Rob and I were going to leave early. I’m so glad we stayed through the party, including Claire’s smash cake!

Each time we visit Rob’s aunt and cousin, we get to enjoy this little girl. She’s special and wonderful and I can’t get enough of her!

I love feeding her, reading to her and helping her fall asleep for nap time!

I’m so glad we stayed and were there to help clean up and visit with all of them more.

So much in life is about accepting what is and moving forward. However, life is also about the risks you take and the possibilities of a rich and full life. That’s the option I’ll take each time.

I’ve taken some risks in life that have really paid off and others that haven’t. Isn’t t that life?

Anyway, taking the risk to get married has made my life so much better. I love my husband more every day.

I’ve tried to launch my own business. That’s had fits and starts. My estimation is that I don’t have the full clarity about what I want to do. I’m working on developing that because I still really want to be my own boss and make enough money to live on.

Working as a communications consultant and temporary contractor is risky. It’s not full-time work. I enjoy not being a full-time employee anymore but finding the right consultant gig isn’t easy, especially in this hiring environment.

I’m over 50 and young and I have so much life left in me and more risks to take!

Dogs teach us so much about life. I think about our dog Lyndon and those pets of mine who have gone before including Daisi the Bichon and Tea Biscuit the Corgi, my soul dog.

The ways dogs teach us are so important for us to remember how to live every day.

• Enjoy the simple pleasures of a walk
• Run and play daily
• Be loyal, faithful and quick to forgive
• Always drink plenty of water
• Sometimes it’s best to sit close and listen
• Follow your instincts
• Keep digging until you find what you want
• Avoid biting when a growl will do
• Accept all of life’s treats with gratitude
• Love unconditionally

I wish the Rainbow Bridge had visiting hours. Loving an animal is a privilege. But being loved by one is a blessing beyond measure. They truly teach us how to live fully every day.

Thank you Daisi and Tea Biscuit in heaven, and Lydon here on earth. I love all of you.

This week, on July 31, marks an anniversary to me. No, it’s not my wedding anniversary. It marks seven years of this weekly blog. I published my first blog July 31, 2018. That’s a lot of writing, planning, creating, proofing and more.

The first blog topic was about kindness. I’ve written about it a few times over the years. The word “kindness” is in the title of at least four other posts. The topic, however, is in another at least 11 other posts. That’s a lot of kindness.

Kindness is defined as the quality of being friendly, generous and considerate. How many today truly act with kindness? It’s easy and hard at the same time.

I’d summarize how important it is to be kind. Spread kindness. Mean it. Kindness is a simple way to make a difference for others one person at a time.

Remember, be kind because you never know what battle someone else is going through.

To choose your hard means you have to decide what kind of life you want to live day in and day out.

For example, if you want to live a passive life, events happen to you instead of taking charge of your life. Perhaps you work a job to just collect a paycheck. Maybe you’ve been going through the motions year after year and time just melds together.

I’ve decided to make choices in life to choose my hard. I want to live my life on purpose and with vigor. Here are mine:

• Marriage is hard. Divorce is hard. Choose your hard.
• Obesity is hard. Being fit is hard. Choose your hard.
• Being in debt is hard. Being fiscally disciplined is hard. Choose your hard.
• Communicating is hard. Ignoring issues is hard. Choose your hard.
• Protecting personal peace is hard. Being in toxic situations is hard. Choose your hard.

Life will never  be easy. It will always be hard. But we can choose our hard and live with intention. Be sure  to pick wisely.

For us in the northern hemisphere in Minnesota, gardens get started later than in warmer southern states. That said, I enjoy planing vegetables and flowers!

When planting and caring for plants, water and sunshine are important. After all, what you water grows. Whether it’s grass, flowers or vegetables, it’s greener where you water.

This concept can be extrapolated to other areas of life. It’s about taking care of someone or something. Every relationship is like a garden. You must tend it with attention and care every day.