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This week, on July 31, marks an anniversary to me. No, it’s not my wedding anniversary. It marks seven years of this weekly blog. I published my first blog July 31, 2018. That’s a lot of writing, planning, creating, proofing and more.

The first blog topic was about kindness. I’ve written about it a few times over the years. The word “kindness” is in the title of at least four other posts. The topic, however, is in another at least 11 other posts. That’s a lot of kindness.

Kindness is defined as the quality of being friendly, generous and considerate. How many today truly act with kindness? It’s easy and hard at the same time.

I’d summarize how important it is to be kind. Spread kindness. Mean it. Kindness is a simple way to make a difference for others one person at a time.

Remember, be kind because you never know what battle someone else is going through.

To choose your hard means you have to decide what kind of life you want to live day in and day out.

For example, if you want to live a passive life, events happen to you instead of taking charge of your life. Perhaps you work a job to just collect a paycheck. Maybe you’ve been going through the motions year after year and time just melds together.

I’ve decided to make choices in life to choose my hard. I want to live my life on purpose and with vigor. Here are mine:

• Marriage is hard. Divorce is hard. Choose your hard.
• Obesity is hard. Being fit is hard. Choose your hard.
• Being in debt is hard. Being fiscally disciplined is hard. Choose your hard.
• Communicating is hard. Ignoring issues is hard. Choose your hard.
• Protecting personal peace is hard. Being in toxic situations is hard. Choose your hard.

Life will never  be easy. It will always be hard. But we can choose our hard and live with intention. Be sure  to pick wisely.

For us in the northern hemisphere in Minnesota, gardens get started later than in warmer southern states. That said, I enjoy planing vegetables and flowers!

When planting and caring for plants, water and sunshine are important. After all, what you water grows. Whether it’s grass, flowers or vegetables, it’s greener where you water.

This concept can be extrapolated to other areas of life. It’s about taking care of someone or something. Every relationship is like a garden. You must tend it with attention and care every day.

What is forgiveness? Forgiveness means different things to different people. But in general, it involves an intentional decision to let go of resentment and anger. That may mean letting go of the act that hurt or offended you.

Forgiving someone does not mean expressing it to the person directly. You may forgive from a distance and for you own benefit. That may not mean forgetting the hurt or wiping the slate clean. Compassion and boundaries are not mutually exclusive. You can say both “I forgive you” and “I don’t want you in my life.”

It does mean forgiving for yourself so you don’t need to carry the past into your present. Forgiveness allows you to let go of the regrets or resentments that eat up your valuable energy.

Boy, do I know about this. I used to think I needed to not be so forgiving. After all, I believe people know exactly what they’re doing when they’ve treated me like shit. I do believe this, when people show you who they are, believe them.

I’m not perfect. No one is. I’m fallible like everyone else. I also recognize that when people know better, they tend to do better. My own self-exploration continues to lead to my own healing. That means I’m still learning what it means to forgive others for myself. I can make myself better for having endured it, but first I must go through it. What hasn’t killed me makes me stronger.

To move forward, I must recognize the truth of what happened. When I see what happened and accept that I can’t change the past, I learn to forgive and heal for my own future.

As author Haruki Murakami tells us, “When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what the storm is all about.”

Life is short. Enjoy it today every chance you get. Here are some ways to seize the day and not wait.

• Book the flight, take the trip
• Eat the food
• Learn to dance
• Make memories and live your life
• Take pictures of everything
• Tell people you love them
• Do the things that scare you
• Be kind
• Forgive (but don’t necessarily forget!)

Don’t wait. Live your life now. It sounds simple, but it’s not always easy.

Love your life.So many of us leave this world and no one remembers a thing we did. Make your life the best story ever told. Don’t waste it.

The circle of people around you matters. I don’t know who said this, but you are defined by the five people you spend the most time with. So, you need to be very careful about who’s in your circle.

I believe this wholeheartedly.

Here’s a neat image: I am the bouncer at the door. I decide who comes in and how long they stay, and then decide who I need to throw out.

A bouncer is a person usually employed at a club or pub to throw out troublemakers and stop some of them from entering an establishment. That means throwing out those who are toxic, who lie, who disturb my peace.

I’ve done this over and over again. Whether it’s someone in person or via email or social media – I value my peace more that an individual. My boundaries are firm and direct.

Don’t listen. Look. People will show you who they truly are, day in and day out.

Maya Angelou  said”When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.”

Check in with yourself regularly and ask yourself: How much room in my life and body to I have for this? And do I really care? Make a choice. Choose wisely what you hold on to.

So much tension, anxiety, stress, and more have repercussions in the body. I know when I’m stressed. I get headaches. My mental health suffers when toxic people are around me. My mood tanks and I tend to take it out on my loved ones.

While I know the physical ramifications of certain situations on my body, I get inside my mind and try to fortify myself in advance. For example:

• The next time something triggers me, I’m going to meditate.
• The next time someone has harsh opinions about my life, I’ll protect my peace and not give them my time. Maybe I could go for a walk with my dog.
• The next time someone judges my life or how I am being me, I will ignore them and maybe take a nap to reset.
• The next time I start worrying about the future and feeling fearful, I’m going to make a list of all that I’m grateful for in my life.

Even with these triggering events that affect my physical and mental health, I can have some strategies to bring calm and quiet in the moment. Think of how this approach changes negativity to positivity and mindfulness in general and the difference it can make!

Recently, I had my third trip to the ER in my life and since Rob and I got back together in 2019. In fact, we had been back together for just two weeks when I passed out while stacking firewood. We were out of town so I was unfamiliar with the location and ER. That was also my first (and hopefully last) ambulance ride, too. Boy, was that monumental!

My most recent visit was for either a kidney stone and for sure a severe UTI. I woke up at night and couldn’t pee. My bladder and side really hurt. I was in so much pain. Rob took me to the ER at about 2 a.m. I got an IV so I could get specific medicine to stop my pain and to start a high dose antibiotic. We got home about 4:30 a.m. and I already felt so much better!

I am so grateful for Rob. He takes such good care of me every single day and especially in the ER.  He stays in the room with me even as they give me an IV and take blo0d. This, from the man with the weakest stomach around.

Hopefully this is the last ER trip for me. It reminds me to not take my health for granted and to focus on it every day.

Energy matters. It matters in how you show up physically, mentally and spiritutally. But what happens when you’re tired of being tired or suffering from severe fatigue. I’ll share how I deal with that. I focus on getting an energy boost.

First, for me, energy comes down to mind energy.  Mind energy refers to power of thought. Thoughts, like the wind, cannot be seen nor touched. But they exist just the same. Through my mind’s energy, I know I can create my future in the present with every thought I have.

My mental energy is equivalent, to me, to my mental health. This has been a concerted focus for me, especially recently. Two letters from my mom’s attorney have really sent me into a downward spiral. It’s the perfect reminder to me that to focus on my mental health I need to focus only on what I can control. And I can’t allow others to determine my mood or mental health and related energy.

The more I focus on my physical and mental health, that energy helps me fight fatigue. Now, fatigue can be defined in many ways. It may be work fatigue. Physical fatigue after a hard workout. Or it may be mental fatigue from toxic people and/or situations. Regardless, any fatigue demands rest. Often, after a nap or a good night’s sleep, everything looks different. It does for me.

Fatigue or being tired of being tired are two different things. For me, I can more easily address fatigue with rest. Being tire of being tired is something a little different. A few examples here are applying to job after job getting rejection after rejection. Or maybe it’s facing an uphill endless battle meeting financial obligations. That can feel like a losing battle.

For me, whether it’s fatigue or being tire of being tired, my positive mindset and attitude is what I bring to both these situations. That positive perspective is how I move forward and find energy in these situations. It’s how I’ve tried to live my life. And it continues to make all the difference.

It’s amazing that it’s now the end of May. Time is just flying by in 2025!

Warmth has now permeated our state. That’s definitely something to celebrate. Memorial Day weekend is definitely the start of summer. It’s a long weekend after a long spring without any holidays.

We’re approaching the first half of the year. It’s a great time to assess what’s working well so far and where I can continue to improve.

It’s also a time to be grateful.

Madden’s birthday is this week. I remember she was born on her due date. Right on time!  That meant that my Memorial Day that year was not a holiday, but the beginning of my three month maternity leave with my new baby. I was thrilled.

Happy Birthday to my little girl, who is now a wonderful, beautiful and confident woman!