“Expectation is the root of all heartache.” I’m not sure who said this, but they were spot on when it comes to dealing with disappointment in life, especially the pain and sadness of heartache.
As a society, we tend to not want to feel difficult emotions like pain, sadness or fear. The more you deny or repress these emotions, the more they fester. When they do resurface – and they will – the emotions will be more intense. What’s the solution? Feel the fullness of each emotion and lean into it – when you feel it.
How fully you lean into hard emotions, the quicker you can heal and come out the other side. One way to do this is by reframing the pain so it can become a learning experience. As you learn to better cope – and that’s a journey – you can use the pain as catalyst for personal growth and resilience (see last week’s blog). It’s learning how to differentiate between what’s within your control and what’s not – and letting go of what you can’t control.
I know it’s uncomfortable. But it’s in the leaning in and feeling the full emotions that you learn more about who you are – your beliefs, your relationships with others and what makes you happy. As you discover the wonder of you, try to stay away from blaming yourself for any part of your current situation. Try not to judge yourself. Go easy and treat yourself with compassion.
New Moon
This week is a new moon. New moons signify new beginnings. Let this week be the start of something great and powerful for you. Try to focus on all that’s good and right in your life. Regardless of what you are going through right now, you are enough and people in your life do love you. It may not feel like it, but it’s true. Remember, you are loved and loveable just as you are! Lean into that!
On a personal note:
I know that leaning into your emotions and feeling the fullness of pain is easier said than done.
Today is Sept. 3. I dread the third of each month because the love of my life broke my heart on Jan. 3, 2018. Each third of the month means one more month we are not together. It’s painful and when the sadness and pain overcome me, I lean into it. I cry if I need to. As I shared last week, I’m on a journey to healing. Being resilient, making happiness a choice, starting my day with intention, and taking control of my life has made all the difference.
It can for you, too. Let me help you.
